OT the disease to please, was: testing in pubic

Oprah calls it "the disease to please", and I think many of us girls who grew up in the 50s and early 60s (and earlier) just can't imagine being any other way.

We were taught to be "nice" girls, to mind our elders and those in authority over us (most everyone else), to kowtow to men and their needs, to keep to our places.

Career options were extremely limited for smart women who wanted to do something besides wife and mommy-- we could be secretaries (no administrative assistants in those days), teachers or nurses (or dental hygienists!) and that was pretty much it. It was the late 60s-early 70s before the hoity-toity prep schools (Exeter, Andover et al) and colleges (Harvard et al) were open to women; before that time, it was very unusual to hear of (much less meet) a female physician, dentist, vet, college-level professor, engineer, banker or CEO; it just didn't happen, almost never.

So when women like us, who are now in our 50s and 60s and beyond, try to change, we're bucking who we always thought we were, way down deep-- not only how we were raised, but who society told us we were supposed to be, and the way men wanted us to be (not being able to support ourselves because of limitations put on our educational and career opportunities, god knows, we needed their approval so they'd keep us around and keep a roof over our heads!) After all these years, a lot of us are still trying to be nice girls, literally keeping up appearances but not being heard, looking to our husbands for approval and permission, and apologizing for taking up space and bothering anyone.

Whole college courses in women's studies departments have been focused on this one subject, so we can't cover it all here. But this disease to please goes DEEP, IMO it's generational, and it's not going to get wished away.

Judy D.