Diabetes and Depression

We're glad you're here Kim, and we wish you and your BF all the best, we really do. This is a big problem you have here, compounded by the fact that it's really your BF who has to fix it. I mean, you can love and support him, but... he's the only one who can take himself in hand and make the changes he needs. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, that's not my intention, just stating something I believe.

Whenever someone says they're diabetes is "uncontrollable", I always wonder what that means and why they think of it that way. What's going on, that they feel they've lost whatever tools they need to get back into better health. Usually type 2 diabetes responds very well to appropriate treatment. Unfortunately, when someone is depressed, they tend to give up and start skipping their meds, making poor lifestyle (food, exercise) choices, not seeing their doc or doing home testing, etc., and that ends up turning into a vicious circle of depression and physical illness that can often spiral downward, sometimes shockingly fast.

So all you can do, as I say, is love and support. If I were you, this would include:
1) a complete physical for your BF, with blood work, ASAP.
2) making sure glucose testing supplies are always available-- meter, test strips, a log book right at hand. I personally wouldn't offer to do this for him, since he really needs to do it himself, and after all, he's an adult.
3) never enable him. Don't buy "bad" foods. Don't drink with him. Don't do it, if he asks you to go into a store and buy him stuff he knows he's not supposed to eat or drink.
4) start taking a walk every day or evening, even if it's raining or 20 degrees, and ask him (gently) to accompany you. And keep asking, gently. From what I understand, most people get the best treatment for depression by a combo of meds, talk therapy, and exercise. And the exercise will help his glucose control, too.
5) remember that depression is often a side effect of long term uncontrolled diabetes. He may indeed be clinically depressed just because he is, but I really wouldn't be a bit surprised if his high glucose levels are contributing.
6) I personally wouldn't accept a prescription for a mood-altering drug from a family doc-- if drugs are indicated, a psychiatric consult would be in your BF's best interests, IMO. On-going talk therapy is probably indicated, too, but let the psychiatrist decide. Your BF needs a real psych diagnosis-- maybe he's not depressed, maybe something else is going on. I have no idea, but a psych doc would make the appropriate diagnosis and get your BF on the right meds and into therapy.

Not sure what help I've been, if any. Please let us know if we can answer any questions or anything for you. And meanwhile, good luck! Your BF is lucky to have you on his side.